Friday, May 18, 2012

Fifty Shades of My Week

I have no pictures to accompany this post since my camera died in Lisbon. It wasn't really the kind of week you're snapping photos of anyways. It rained. And then Charlie got sick. And now it's Friday.

It was a beautiful Mother's Day here last weekend. Sunny and 60 degrees. Still chilly in my book. We went to brunch and attempted to walk around Trafalgar Square with Charlie and go to the National Portrait Gallery. When I started to fear Charlie would actually pull one of the Tudors' portraits off the wall, we decided to go. However, my eggs benedict at brunch was spot on!

Mother's Day in the UK is celebrated in March, so it was kind of strange to be the only people celebrating. Since it would have been a shame for me to cook for dinner, that night we went to a pub and had Sunday Roast. It's like it sounds: roast beef, mashed potatoes, vegetables, gravy and a yorkshire pudding, which is basically a roll. It's yummy.

Charlie's had an awful cough lately that's made it hard for him to sleep, but I think he's past the worst of it now. Wednesday I kept him home because he was exhausted, but by 5pm he had a fever. The fever spiked at 4am so we stayed home Thursday, too. The fever departed, along with my sanity, Thursday afternoon. Small flat + sick child = not fun.

Today he was back in school for a couple of hours but was otherwise on fire and into everything. As soon as he stops moving I can tell he doesn't feel well. This rarely happens. Needless to say, bed time couldn't get here quick enough tonight. I think Mommy is going to need a little break tomorrow.

So the other thing that happened recently: I read the first two Fifty Shades of Grey books. I need to take a break before I read the third because it was all starting to... run together. Anyways, probably a spoiler in the next paragraph or two, so just warning you!

So at first I had to pick my jaw up off the floor, because WOW. Didn't see some of that coming. How kinky! After the 11th or 12th, ahem, intimate scene I kind of grew numb to them and started skimming. That's when their actual relationship started to really bother me. It also started to remind me of Bella and Edward, minus the vampire thing.

Edward and Christian are both super-controlling, self-loathing, overly-possessive, wealthy, good looking guys with these endearingly sweet adoptive families but checkered pasts.

Bella and Ana are both codependent, beautiful-but-don't-realize-it, over analytical, self-involved "old souls" (gag) who don't eat very much and hate exercise, with flighty moms who live on the beach in some other state and sweet dads who fish.

So the controlling male lead won't let the female so much as pump gas (or see her friends) without some kind of overly cautious "protection" in place from scary outside forces - all of which exist BECAUSE of the male. Female talks constantly of asserting her own independence but never actually does so and spends lots of time justifying how to accept the personality flaws of hot new boyfriend - because he's broken and he needs her. Friends and family of the female voice concern while friends and family of the male see nothing wrong with how controlling he is and is just relieved he found someone so perfect!

Which book did I just describe? I think Stephenie Meyer would like her cut of the Fifty book sales.

Can someone please tell me why we find reading about these unhealthy relationships to be so appealing and hopelessly romantic? I'm not throwing stones here, I found the story to be pretty hot. And I was always Team Edward. Why why why??? Is it because they're so different from your typical guy these days? I'm not sure. Enlighten me someone!

Also, please don't just me for reading this trash. lol

UPDATE: Just read on Facebook that Fifty Shades was originally a Twilight fanfic that was modified to be published. That explains SO MUCH... if it's true.

UPDATE 2: I saw the fanfic with mine own eyes. It is called - and I'm going to try not to gag as I type this - Master of Universe. Now I just feel dirty. I spent actual time and dollars on poorly written FANFIC! I'm going to go hunt down some literature written by someone who has been dead at least 100 years now.


Soña said...

100% true, Twilight fanfic all the way. You can still get it "free" on the interwebs. The "books" keep getting suggested for book club but I can't bring myself to read them. I'm not a real book snob really but fanfic...ugh. Is it written well? Since Twilight was not and all ;)

Cote de Texas said...

Kara - laughing out loud reading this! yes, motu is twilight fan fic and now the money making fifty shades. and yes, the characters were originally edward cullen and bella swan, not christian and ana. I read it when it was fanfic and have watched the storm that fifty shades has become with a sly smile knowing its true origins. of course the characters are the same without the vampire, because they aRE the same characters! but please, don't put down fanfic. There's a lot of great stories out there. I might suggest another fanfic that has been turned into a "real book" - Gabriel's Inferno. It's much much better written without all the smut (well, just a little sexing of course) - it's worthy of your time. If you do choose to kindle it - let me know what you think. I would love to hear your opinions. It's amazing that you noticed the twilight connect to fifty without even knowing about it!