Monday, May 16, 2011

A Bummer

You may have noticed I haven't been posting very much lately. It's because I've just been so tired. Like, beyond tired because I have a very busy 2 year old on my hands all week while the hubs is out of town. I've also been feeling sick all of the time. It's been worrisome. And not good.

I'm not sure how often I've complained on the blog the past few months about my back pain, but it started up in November when I aggravated my sciatic nerve, which caused pain up my back and down my legs. The doctor at the time thought it was due to my scoliosis, which has never really given me much pain.

Actually my back hasn't been completely right since my last month of pregnancy, when Charlie turned and put a bunch of pressure on my lower back and his feet right on my ribs, which he kicked to high heaven and cracked. My coworkers started calling him Baby Cullen.

So my back hurt some for a while after having him (his constant need to be held and husband out of town didn't help matters either) and then a lot after November. Just an innocent night on the elliptical machine that turned into not being able to walk 2 hours later.

Anyways. I have such a bad habit of going off on tangents when I'm writing on this blog. But anyways, I saw an orthopedist, saw some neat x-rays, did physical therapy, tried a myriad of muscle related drugs and nothing really helped. One of the drawers in my bathroom has unintentionally become a graveyard of medicine that didn't do anything.

Over the past couple of months, the pain went from my back to all over. Kind of like the flu. Just achy and don't touch me and my usual bumping into walls or stubbing my toe became major painful events. I didn't feel like doing anything but laying down. This does present a problem with a toddler.

Getting up in the morning has been the worst. When I first wake up, I lie there and think OK, on the count of 3 I'm going to grit my teeth and sit up. Because.. ouch. Majorly stiff and just ... ouch.

I've had blood tests for everything under the sun and all came back clear. My doctor was trying to get the pain under control since he wasn't really sure what it was. Finally, Mother's Day weekend it was so bad, I asked my doctor to send me to a rheumatologist. It was time to visit the specialist and get an actual diagnosis, instead of just trying to treat the pain. I managed to get an appointment last Friday.

After filling out a long form and having a long discussion with him, the diagnosis looks like it will be fibromyalgia. Hearing that diagnosis confirmed was like being punched in the gut because doesn't that sound like something someone much older than 34 should have? But I had a feeling that's what it was going to be thanks to WebMD. I'm not a doctor but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

At the same time, it was also a relief to have something of a diagnosis. I haven't been able to get that so far from my primary care doctor or the other doctor I went to for a second opinion. So now I know what I need to do to get better.

I've started yet another prescription, but this one is actually working. In fact, in just the 2 days I've been taking it, I feel better than I have in months. I also need to exercise and watch my stress level. The doctor said stress is probably what brought it on and he thought it was a good thing I'd taken steps to de stress my life a bit.

With any luck, I will hopefully be able to get off the medicine in a few months. At least, that's what the doctor said and I really hope he's right. I don't think there's a "cure" per se, and I may always deal with this off and on, but I don't want to think about this being something I have the rest of my life. That's very scary to me.

Instead I'm just focusing on feeling better. I'm so excited to feel better. I miss all the things I used to be able to do before I felt like garbage all the time. I miss having energy. I miss tackling all my little projects. I miss Saturday morning spin class and going to the gym. Never thought I'd miss that. Mostly I just miss feeling like myself. Hopefully I will again soon.


Lindsay said...

Ugh, sorry to hear that! I'm glad you've got some hope lined up.

I keep comparing this phase of my life with when we had our camp and 1000 other things going on. I could handle it back then. I know I'm older, but why is it that I can handle so little now? I guess if we thought we were emotionally invested then, it's got nothing on being a mom. Emotionally exhausting every second.

Meredith said...

Oh KK, I had no idea you were in so much pain- that makes me so sad. :( I'm glad you have gotten some good help for it. If there is anything I can do let me know! My friend Melisssa is an excellent massage therapist who may have some good tips. Love you!