Sunday, February 6, 2011

My Stupid Back

I remember at the end of her pregnancy (which wasn't an easy one), my friend Lakshmy said she was tired of hearing her own complaining. That's exactly how I feel about my back right now. Sick of hearing myself talk about it, complaining about it, thinking about it. Just go away Back, ok? I've tired of you.

My MRI came back clear, which is good news. At the same time, it was disappointing in a weird way, because I wanted something that could be fixed, that had a name and a definitive action plan to end all suffering.

Instead, I just continue to hurt and the orthopedist's nurse sounds so pleased with herself when telling me there's actually nothing wrong with me that they can find. Nothing like being told it's all in your head to make you want to lunge through the phone and strangle someone. They want to run blood work, but I think the chance of anything popping up there is pretty remote.

I had my physical therapy appointment last week and it went like I expected. The therapist got to point out all my body parts that are uneven from each other due to the scoliosis - hips, shoulders, sides of my back. He gave me some exercises to do at home, which I have been doing diligently. Charlie likes to jump on top of me while I'm doing them, which makes for an interesting experience. I go back to therapy every Tuesday for the next month and then we'll see where I'm at with the pain.

I also got a massage, but the masseuse didn't feel anything amiss in the parts of my back that are hurting. Just a bunch of knots in my shoulders and neck. They live there permanently. I used to name them. Brad found that quite humorous when we were dating.

I think I may try a chiropractor next, but I have an appointment with my regular doctor next week just to see what next steps he recommends. I also want to give him a copy of medical file from the orthopedist so I don't have to go back there.

I don't really want to go back there because I don't think the orthopedist really interested in determining what's wrong; they just want to make sure it's nothing in their realm and then send me on my way.

In my head this makes them quite evil, because I just want a medical professional to figure it out and fix it, but I do see the practicality of it from their standpoint. All the same, now that I've realized this, I'll just send myself on my way, thank you very much. I don't see the point of a follow up appointment if they've already told me there's nothing else they can do but send me to physical therapy.

So that's kind of the deal. And now I'm going to go try to not talk, complain or think about my back. At least until it wakes me up tonight. Stupid back.

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