Friday, October 9, 2009

Everybody Poops

And if you're Charlie, you've been pooping 8 to 12 times a day for the last 3 days. Let me tell you what a MOTHER diaper rash that leads to. And a MOTHER load of laundry.

If you've been paying extra close attention, then yeah, this would be the 3 days since I got home from New Orleans and Brad left for Charlotte that all of this has been happening. It's been haywire and the best thing I can say about it is that I did have some some wine stashed away so I MADE IT! I survived! Update my Mama Resume with another impressive bullet.

So nobody warns you about diaper rash. I was warned about many things before Charlie was born - sleepless nights, colic, separation anxiety... I really think diaper rash ranks right up there with the other very painful baby experiences for both parent and child. I haven't seen Charlie scream like this since he was a hungry newborn and nobody was *getting it* quickly enough that he was starving and no thank you but breast milk isn't going to cut it this time. The shakes..... you shall know his unhappiness by the shakes.

Diaper rash is also such a pitfall area for the rookie mom. The advice to fix it varies widely and you're trying to do the right thing but then you figure out that's the wrong thing and you change course and buy 8 different diaper creams at 12 bucks a pop just to find that all but the plain $1.39 vaseline makes it burn worse. I've now got a blow dryer in the nursery that terrifies him but does dry his tooshie, 3 kinds of Aveeno purchased in my quest to find the *right* Aveeno the first nurse recommended and poop all over the floor as a result of trying to let him 'air out' with no diaper. It's been a week.

I think we're finally on the right path, though. Today I talked to a really good nurse who I've seen before. She's actually known as the 'breastfeeding nazi' amongst some of the moms who go there so I did have to sit through her sniff of disapproval when I told her he was on formula. I of course wanted to explain the whole 'it's not me - it's him' and 'I tried but he didn't want me anymore' schtick but I've met her in person, heard the formula rant and she's really not going to believe me anyway. She did have some good advice, though. A formula made just for diarrhea, some antifungal and more vaseline for the toosh and nothing but bananas and oatmeal for a couple of days. If there's no improvement by Sunday morning we go in to see the pediatrician.

By the way, if you are in the market for a black poodle, I have one who would really make your home complete. I am so ticked at Zoe for making this whole ordeal twice as difficult as it needed to be. Say for instance Charlie had a poop event while in his highchair having dinner. I rush him away to clean him up and stop the crying and come back and all of Charlie's dinner has been eaten off the counter by Zoe. Or lets just say you leave any kind (clean or dirty) of baby wipe or wet clean up wash cloth lying around - it will be dragged to another room and chewed, shredded, tossed around - whatever. With plenty of extra mess to clean up. I have really wanted to wring her neck a couple of times. Seriously, she's totally cute and sweet and will fit right into your house. Call me.

Oh and the other thing that made this week extra special fun is that my car, the beloved but now slightly detested Elvis, has had another hiccup. I had to take him into the shop today and hope for a couple of days until we could get there that he didn't leave me stranded with a baby somewhere. There's something wrong with the engine, the brakes and the steering column. Much like a California felon, Elvis is under a 3 strikes and you're out statute. This is strike 2. When Elvis' time comes there will of course be a special tribute blog entry because we're talking 10 years people. Long enough to have fond, blog-worthy memories but not long enough to sink more then the car is worth into keeping him running.

Well I'm going to wrap this one up because I'm sure you need to use the bathroom by now. Happy weekend everyone!

No comments: